Friday, 28 March 2008

Nick Dorman we salute you

We at the every impressive Thanet Eye would like to salute Nick Dorman of the lesser but still good The People newspaper. His distortion of local facts to fit his story was masterful to the point of genius. Some have called what he has written lieing but we defended him pointing to the artistic truthiness of the article.

Nick Dorman is clearly a man who will never have to worry about censorship coming nowhere near the protected facts preferring the emotive truthiness of reporting. Truly he is a man worth watching.

Nick Dorman we salute you!

Tuesday, 25 March 2008

Official: There is no snow

We have just recieved word from the Office of Official Facts (OOF) that there has been no snow this easter. Any signs of white, ice like, stuff is, apparently, the product of a poor diet.

While we thank OOF for this statement we would like to say *** CENSORED FOR THE GREATER GOOD ***



I am sure you will agree that ******** ** *** ********* ****** **** **.

Thursday, 20 March 2008

Shock News

**** This news has been censored ****

**** This news does not implicate a public figure in a crime as crime is falling ****

Sunday, 16 March 2008


From Robert Ningby, Gossip sub-editor.

Good god! Thanet can be so uneventful sometimes. Just the other day something almost happened but fortunately it was censored by *** before anything significant could transpire.

Such a fast pace of life we lead.

Thursday, 13 March 2008

R Gale, Hamster Eater

In shock news ***** **** the ** for ****** Thanet ***** *** ** ****** **** ** * **** *** ***** ***. "Mp R Gale ate my new hamster says" ******* of Margate.


He added that although it might seem to be a blue boat it was indeed a normal ****** ** ****** * ** **** ****** * ****** ***** ********** *******.

So there we go.

Wednesday, 12 March 2008

Shades Smashed!

More in tonights edition if Spotter can find his typewriter

Apparently the Shades, long dear hole of ***** common ****. Damn that censor.

Anyway the common folks have been booted out (too damn right too) but have unfortunately been relocated to a ghetto located nearby. The council has promised locals more of it's strong prison grade fencing to keep the buggers inside this time.

I would report more but the weeping of the common folk awoke me at an ungodly hour this morning and I don't bloody want to. Heh, I got that one in ****ing ****** censors that ***** **** ** ****** ***. C***s!

Sod this I'm going to have my *** **** breakfast.

* **** ** ******, *** ***** *** ******! *** ***** *** * ** *** - *****.

Tuesday, 11 March 2008

Old News in new shoes

Old Berty is always fond of a quote or two. Mind you Berty was fond of quite a lot of things and not all of them good for public newspapers. without further ado here is a big fat one.

Quote obviously.

Why do so many online communities tolerate trolls, sick psychopaths, and toxic personalities? "Oh noes!" you wail, "We cannot be exclusionary, because that is Wrong!" Baloney. Quit being a wuss and exclude the destructive buttheads. Create and enforce some community standards, because tolerating poisonous people is the same as taking a big hot steaming dump on the cool sane people you want to have around. I cannot fathom the spineless mentality that would rather suck up to psychopaths than stand up for friends.

"Oh noes!" you wail some more, "What about Free Speech?" Hey, what about enforcing standards and creating an atmosphere that permit actual useful conversation, instead of allowing vandals to run the show? I doubt that human rights will be set back very much by squashing dialogue like "I wont to ram util u cry." I had the pleasure of receiving this communication recently. Lucky me, torn between outrage at the message, and dismay over the terrible spelling
and grammar.

This sort of junk is not trivial or something to endure as the price of participating in online communities. It's violence, it's an attack, and I despise the people who make excuses for it.

Carla Schroder, from