Welcome dear readers to the newspaper that is better than all others - the Thanet Eye. Purchased by me it is now the sexiest damn news thing on the Planet. I know you will wet yourself trying to make sure you never miss out on a word that passes the lips of the worlds foremost fictional Thanet dweller.
Good I am so sexy sometimes I want to **** myself. Hey? Where the **** did those ****ing stars come from?
**** ****! ********!
Damn government censors. Stop it I say.
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