Friday, 4 July 2008
Thanet is [NOT] an insane assylum
Saturday, 24 May 2008
Famouse Thanet Lord Abducted By Aliens
Wednesday, 23 April 2008
Talking Village Looses Stuff
The famouse talking village said through it's "voice" that it had lost it's links. After some famouse Thanet investigation we can tell you that it was the villages Cuff Links that were lost. What all that means is lost on us but ******* is reported by the ***** ** ***** to be ************.
This might reflect on the fact that *** [snip] *** THE COMMITTEE FOR OFFICIAL TRUTH HAS EDITED THIS "NEWS" FOR YOUR OWN SAFETY *** [SNIP] *** and then took him fishing.
Tuesday, 8 April 2008
Scenic Railway Burns - We are all supprised.
From Boctor Baggins - Fortunate Fires Department
As we have previously not reported The Scenic Railway the much hated "bone in the throat" of the house building future of Thanet has been burned to the ground. House builders everywhere are celebrating the act of God and sending big fat cheques to a man called Godden. It is a well known fact that business men in Thanet are a bit thick.
The future development of some stunningly identical flats is now assured so long as the police can not pin the fire on the land owners, the council or ******* *** *******.
We can exclusively tell you that the hand of god in this case was Mr ******* ******* of ******** in *********, ****.
*** THE CENSOR WOULD LIKE IT TO BE KNOWN THAT THERE WAS NO CRIME AND THE WOOD BURNED BECAUSE IT WAS TOO DRY EVEN IF IT HAD BEEN RAINING ***
...he also owned a dog.
Thursday, 20 March 2008
Shock News
**** This news does not implicate a public figure in a crime as crime is falling ****
Sunday, 16 March 2008
Nothing!
Good god! Thanet can be so uneventful sometimes. Just the other day something almost happened but fortunately it was censored by *** before anything significant could transpire.
Such a fast pace of life we lead.
Thursday, 13 March 2008
R Gale, Hamster Eater
*** [CENSORED AND SHORTENED BY THE MINISTRY OF CENSORSHIP] ***
He added that although it might seem to be a blue boat it was indeed a normal ****** ** ****** * ** **** ****** * ****** ***** ********** *******.
So there we go.
Wednesday, 12 March 2008
Shades Smashed!
More in tonights edition if Spotter can find his typewriter
Apparently the Shades, long dear hole of ***** common ****. Damn that censor.
Anyway the common folks have been booted out (too damn right too) but have unfortunately been relocated to a ghetto located nearby. The council has promised locals more of it's strong prison grade fencing to keep the buggers inside this time.
I would report more but the weeping of the common folk awoke me at an ungodly hour this morning and I don't bloody want to. Heh, I got that one in ****ing ****** censors that ***** **** ** ****** ***. C***s!
Sod this I'm going to have my *** **** breakfast.
* **** ** ******, *** ***** *** ******! *** ***** *** * ** *** - *****.
Thursday, 21 February 2008
Censored by the powers that be
**** *** in a **** * * ** * ***** * **** * *** ************ (*** **** * **** ***). *** *** **** * * ** * *****, **** * with *** *******. *** **** * - * ** * ***** * **** * *** *******. **** * ***** **** **** *** **** also * ****** ** **** * ****.
**** ** **** *** * **** ****** ***** ****** * ** * **.
******* ****, *** ****!
Tuesday, 19 February 2008
First Post!
Good I am so sexy sometimes I want to **** myself. Hey? Where the **** did those ****ing stars come from?
**** ****! ********!
Damn government censors. Stop it I say.